Problem Free Life - January 2003

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=95 BGCOLOR="#660066" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="041005f0dkblmu.png"> <div> <FONT SIZE="6" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Informal Roman" ><B>Excel With Ease Coaching.com</B></FONT><B>     </B><B>|</B><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#C0C0C0" FACE="Arial" ><B>     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Excel With Ease Coaching.com"><B>home</B></A></FONT></div> <div> Problem Free Life - January 2003   |   <A HREF="how_to_live_happily_february_2003.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="How to Live Happily February 2003">How to Live Happily - February 2003</A>   |   <A HREF="moving_through_the_gap.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Critical Gap March 2003">The Critical Gap - March 2003</A>   |   <A HREF="find_peace_now.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Find Peace Now Special Broadcast">Find Peace Now - Special Broadcast</A>   |   <A HREF="what_s_the_payoff____april_2003.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Whats the Payoff? April 2003">What's the Payoff? - April 2003</A>   |   <A HREF="how_to_get_more_than_you_need.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="More Than You Need May 2003">More Than You Need - May 2003</A>   |   <A HREF="space_and_time.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Space V. Time June 2003">Space V. Time - June 2003</A>   |   <A HREF="unrelenting_clarity.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Unrelenting Clarity November 2003">Unrelenting Clarity - November 2003</A>   |   <A HREF="pain__no_gain____july_2003.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Pain? No Gain. July 2003">Pain? No Gain. - July 2003</A>   |   <A HREF="know_when_to_hold_them.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Know When To Hold Them August 2003">Know When To Hold Them - August 2003</A>   |   <A HREF="the_power_of_this_moment.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Power Of This Moment September 2003">The Power Of This Moment - September 2003</A>   |   <A HREF="focusing_on_what_you_want.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Focusing On What You Want October 2003">Focusing On What You Want - October 2003</A>   |   <A HREF="balancing_the_triangle.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Balancing The Triangle December 2003">Balancing The Triangle - December 2003</A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=189 style="border-right: 1px solid #CCCCCC;" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Success. Joy. Ease. Get More!</B></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="mailto:excelwithease-subscribe@excelwitheasecoaching.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:excelwithease-subscribe@excelwith"><B>Join Our Free Email Newsletter</B></A></div> <bR> <div> <B>Your privacy is important to us.  Your information will never be sold or given away.</B></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=385 width="100%" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>Problem Free Life - January 2003</B></div> <div> Volume I, Issue 8</div> <bR> <div> Welcome to the 'Excel with Ease Newsletter', January, 2003.</div> <div> I trust that you will find this newsletter an inspiring way </div> <div> to bring more success, joy, and ease into your life. Please </div> <div> share this newsletter with your friends and your network. </div> <div> A free subscription is available at </div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.ExcelwithEaseCoaching.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.ExcelwithEaseCoaching.com"><B><U>http://www.ExcelwithEaseCoaching.com</U></B></A><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Book Antiqua" >.</FONT></div> <bR> <div> &*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&</div> <div> In this Issue:</div> <div> 1. Rachna's Note</div> <div> 2. How to Have a Problem Free Life</div> <div> 3. In the News/Other News</div> <div> 4. Opportunities & Resources</div> <div> 5. Quotable Quote</div> <div> 6. Invitation to Excel with Ease</div> <div> 7. Subscribe/Unsubscribe Information</div> <div> &*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&</div> <div> Rachna's Note</div> <bR> <div> January 2003</div> <bR> <div> Dear Reader,</div> <bR> <div> Hello, and Happy New Year! I know that we're already into the third week of the year, but I thought, hey, why not keep the party going? I hope your holidays were enjoyable, and that you're filled with great ideas and a lot of energy for 2003. </div> <bR> <div> This month's feature article deals with over-responding</div> <div> as a way to create a problem free life. </div> <bR> <div> I hope you enjoy it. See you next month,</div> <div> Rachna</div> <bR> <div> p.s. Thank you for passing this newsletter on to your </div> <div> friends & family.</div> <div> &*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&</div> <div> How to Have a Problem Free Life</div> <div> (c) 2003 Dr. Rachna D. Jain</div> <div> All Rights in All Media Reserved</div> <bR> <div> Many times, in the course of working with my clients, we come to the idea of a "problem-free" life. </div> <bR> <div> Before becoming a coach, I always thought of problems as a necessary prerequisite to living-we all had problems, </div> <div> and we just had to deal with them. </div> <bR> <div> As time goes on, I feel that this is less and less accurate. Instead, what seems to be more true is that we have `incidents'.   An `incident' is any experience which is not quite right and, usually, involves some kind of interface with other people and/or the world at large. </div> <bR> <div> Let me give you an example. You come home to find a message from your bank, stating that your checking account has been overdrawn, and you'll be fined , etc. etc. Is this a problem or an incident? </div> <bR> <div> I'd say it's an incident, at this moment- but this incident will become a problem if you don't respond appropriately. I often suggest that my clients "over-respond" to incidents so they don't become problems. </div> <bR> <div> Over-responding is not the same as over-reacting. Over-reacting means that you feel incredibly bad, go over the incident again and again, trying to find the meaning or some greater understanding. Over-responding means that you acknowledge the facts of the incident, and take big steps to make sure it doesn't happen again.</div> <bR> <div> Using the bank fee example: `Over-reacting' would be feeling really angry at yourself, belittling or criticizing yourself, or putting yourself on an overly strict spending moratorium. It would also involve talking about the incident, over and over, and carrying it as a demerit on your life's report card.</div> <bR> <div> `Over-responding', on the other hand, might involve calling the bank and acknowledging the error, perhaps negotiating for a reduction in fees (which the bank may grant if this is the first time this has ever happened, and you're otherwise a customer in good standing), taking a look at why the overdraft occurred, and deciding what systems need to be put in place so this doesn't happen again. Systems might include: changing the due dates for your bills, putting more in savings, increasing your overdraft protection, changing banks, getting a new type of account---in short, anything that drastically reduces the likelihood of the incident ever occurring again.</div> <bR> <div> It's also important to do this in personal relationships - very often, we tolerate little incidents of insensitivity, meanness, thoughtlessness by saying, "well, s/he didn't mean it" or "it doesn't matter". As an incident, it does matter. It is easier to over-respond to a small thing (again, not over-react!) to severely reduce the likelihood of it happening again. </div> <bR> <div> For example, let's say that your significant other promised to be home at a certain hour- and this didn't happen. Many of us would simmer silently, or be really angry, over-reacting "You're ALWAYS late. WHY are you so insensitive?? </div> <bR> <div> Didn't you KNOW this was important??". Instead, try over-responding: "Honey, you were late tonight, even though we agreed that you'd be home at 9. What do we need to put in place, as a couple, to make this type of situation work out better for both of us in the future?"</div> <bR> <div> Keep in mind that this approach can feel scary and vulnerable but may keep a small incident from becoming a larger problem.  By over-responding to incidents, you'll keep them from becoming larger and this is the first step to an easier, more comfortable, "problem-free" life.</div> <bR> <div> &*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&</div> <div> In the News</div> <bR> <div> This month, I'm quoted in:</div> <bR> <div> Ladies Home Journal, January 2003: p 72</div> <div> "Getting Your Get Up and Go"</div> <bR> <div> Chicago Tribune, January 1, 2003</div> <div> "Even between friends, job means business"</div> <bR> <div> First for Women, January 6, 2003, </div> <div> "What Sex is Your Brain?" p. 36</div> <div> "Hollywood Collectors" p. 107</div> <bR> <div> Other News:</div> <bR> <div> I've recently become Director of Operations for Sales Coach Training, a program that trains sales professionals to become sales coaches. There are estimated to be 18 million sales professionals in the world, and only a few thousand coaches. This is a great time to become a Certified Sales Coach and fill a huge need in the industry. Contact me if you'd like more information on this exciting opportunity.  </div> <bR> <div> I've been published in the Business Monthly, a local business paper. Read the article:</div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.bizmonthly.com/1_2003/18.html" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.bizmonthly.com/1_2003/18.html"><B><U>http://www.bizmonthly.com/1_2003/18.html</U></B></A></div> <bR> <div> Do you live in the Washington Metro Area? If so, did you hear me on WASH-FM's "Girl Talk" last Sunday? I spoke on strategies for surviving rejection and will be a guest again in the future. </div> <bR> <div> &*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&</div> <div> Opportunities & Resources</div> <bR> <div> Books:</div> <div> **Continued Special on Get it Done!**</div> <div> Want to complete your dissertation once and for all?  I had so much fun with my holiday special that I've decided to continue it for another month.  5% off individual copies of the book, plus we'll even pay for shipping. V<A HREF="books__teleclasses__e_books__special_reports_and_tips_catalog_.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Catalog">isit my catalog</A>. This special only applies to individual books purchased directly from the website. 5% discount on the ebook version, too!</div> <bR> <div> ** Want to Achieve Success as a Coach?**</div> <bR> <div> If you'd like me to sign your copy, please mention this in</div> <div> the comments section of the order form. </div> <bR> <div> &*&*&**&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&</div> <div> Invitation to Excel With Ease!</div> <bR> <div> This month, over-respond, and watch your problems</div> <div> decrease. </div> <bR> <div> &*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&</div> <div> Quotable Quote: </div> <bR> <div> Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of </div> <div> small things brought together.</div> <div>      ~~Vincent Van Gogh (1853-1890)</div> <div> &*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&</div> <div> Copyright by Rachna D. Jain, Psy.D., LLC </div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.ExcelWithEaseCoaching.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.ExcelWithEaseCoaching.com"><B><U>www.ExcelWithEaseCoaching.com</U></B></A></div> <div> Excel With Ease may be forwarded if done so in its entirety. </div> <div> It may be reprinted by permission only. </div> <div> &*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&</div> <div> Privacy Policy: Your privacy is important. I will </div> <div> never sell or make the emailing list available to anyone. </div> <bR> <div> To subscribe to this list, email: </div> <div> excelwithease-subscribe@excelwitheasecoaching.com</div> <bR> <div> To unsubscribe from this list, email:</div> <div> excelwithease-unsubscribe@excelwitheasecoaching.com</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div>   <IMG SRC="129c87a0.jpg" border=0 width="200" height="122" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> © 2002-2005. Racha D. Jain</div> <div> All Rights Reserved. </div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>