The Art of Asking - June 2002

Volume I, Issue 1

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1. Welcome to Excel With Ease

2. The Art of Asking: 5 tips in 5 minutes

3. Opportunities & Resources

4. Invitation to Excel With Ease!

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Dear Excel With Ease Subscriber,

Welcome to our first issue. Thanks for being part of

our growing community.

As you read on, you'll see that the format of this

newsletter is tip based- meaning there will be

5 coaching tips in 5 minutes. This, I hope, will be

useful and easy to read.

Excel With Ease is a newsletter dedicated to exploring

the creation of a life of greater success, joy, and ease.

I welcome you to this journey.

In this issue, we'll tackle the topic of asking-

how to ask for what you want in a way that increases

your chance of getting it.

I hope you enjoy this issue, and I'll see you again

in July.

Warmly,

Rachna

*Please feel free to pass this issue along to people

that you care about!*

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The Art of Asking

By Dr. Rachna D. Jain

Most of us have probably experienced the feeling of

wanting to ask for something - a day off, a raise, maybe

time to connect with a special person, but we sometimes

don't know how to ask for what we want. Maybe the following

tips will help.

1) Take the time to get really clear on what you're asking for.

This may mean making a list, or writing in your journal,

or otherwise “checking in” to figure out what you really want.

Knowing what you want will make it easier to ask for- and to

respond appropriately if alternatives are offered.

2) Practice stating your request clearly.

Once you're clear on what you're asking for, it is often

a good idea to practice out loud. Where possible, keep it simple, and to the point- cutting out unnecessary words or phrases. This step can help you build confidence.

3) As you go into the place of stating your request (the meeting with your employer or friend), take a minute and run through, mentally, how you want the conversation to proceed.

Taking a few seconds to “fast-forward” and visualize your

desired outcome increases the likelihood of it occurring. See and feel your desired outcome as fully as possible.

4) After making your request, leave space for the other person to respond.

Very often, after asking for something (especially if we're

nervous or uncertain), we tend to “fill in” the space with nervous laughter or conversation. This can often decrease the impact of our request. Try reminding yourself to state your request and then pause, allowing the other person time to process and respond.

5) If the answer is not what you've hoped for, take a moment to check in with yourself before responding.

Taking a minute or two to check in with yourself, again, will

allow you to take the next right steps- either to withdraw, ask again, or offer a modified request.

Just remember, however the situation unfolds, you always have a better chance of getting what you want when you make the effort to ask.

My 5 minutes are up! See you next month!

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Opportunities & Resources

This has been a very busy month - lots of new things

in the works. Here's a brief listing:

* Are you or anyone you know working on a dissertation?

If so, check out my new book "Get it Done! A Coach's Guide

To Dissertation Success". You can read more about it, and

order it, by pointing your browser to: http://www.excelwitheasecoaching.com/get_it_done_.htm

Advance praise has been highly positive, and the copies are

selling very well. The book was recently accepted onto

Amazon.com, and will soon be part of their online catalog.

* My other email newsletter: Live Your Best. I'd like to invite all of my Excel With Ease readers to subscribe - this newsletter focuses on tips to help you live better. If this sounds interesting to you, please do check it out. You can view past issues at: http://www.maximalhappiness.com, and subscribe by sending an email to liveyourbest-subscribe@maximalhappiness.com

* Are you interested in writing a book, but not sure where to begin? Let me recommend a friend, colleague, and my very own book coach, Jim Donovan. Jim is the author of three bestselling books- and is glad to coach aspiring authors to duplicate his successes. You can visit him at http://www.jimdonovan.com. [Tell him I sent you!]

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Invitation to Excel With Ease!

This month, I invite you to ask for 5 things that you want-

without fear or hesitation.

Keep track of your “wins” and how good it feels to ask and

then receive.

If you'd like to learn more about coaching and how it can help you get more of what you want in your life, please contact me to arrange a complimentary consultation.

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www.ExcelWithEaseCoaching.com

(410) 772-3758

Excel With Ease! may be forwarded if done so in its entirety.

It may be reprinted by permission only.

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